If you or someone you know has an ADHD mind, you’re in for a liberating read. Today, let's discuss ADHD, the elusive concept of productivity and the uninvited guest it brings along - shame. Let’s explore how we can embrace ADHD with warmth and compassion, while shedding light on the weight of shame that often accompanies it.
“I’m late (feels guilty)… Why is everyone else able to do life?... Why am I such a failure?... What is wrong with me?... I can’t do this!”
We hear this several times, from our family, colleagues, friends, and maybe from our own mind on a bad day too. It’s pretty universal. But, for the ADHD mind one insignificant error kicks the bruise left by numerous, similar mistakes made over the course of a lifetime, carrying with it a wall of shame built by a lifetime of criticism and self-blame.
This shame is so unbearable for them that they tend to turn people away, turn off the world… and worse their brains.
Missing deadlines or struggling with focus often can ignite a shame spiral that often diminishes self-worth. It is essential to remember that our worth isn’t determined by checkboxes and to-do-lists. The cycle of shame can be broken with self-compassion and a shift in perspective.
Facing the Problem, Embracing ADHD
I know. It’s hard to DO things when you are feeling bad. Time can sometimes feel like a slippery eel, darting through our fingers just as we think we’ve grasped it. This doesn’t mean we are any less capable or worthy. It’s simply a reminder that our minds operate on a different rhythm. Take extra essentials to reach into your bag of ADHD tricks: inhale-exhale, tell yourself you need a break for a few, call a friend for a walk, and make your walk end at your favorite ice cream parlor.
Rewriting the Narrative and Breaking the Myth of Productivity
Try flipping the script and celebrate the strengths that come with an ADHD mind. Creativity, innovation, and out-of-the box thinking are part of our wonderful gifts. When we focus on these strengths, the myth of productivity loses its grip, and shame takes a backseat
Kindness as a Superpower: Cultivating Self-Compassion
Imagine if we treated ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we offer our closest friends. That’s the essence of self-compassion. Instead of berating ourselves for not fitting into society’s productivity mold, let’s embrace our journey with a heart full of kindness.
Community and Connection: You’re Not Alone
Here’s a heartwarming truth: you are not alone on this path. Many other people are navigating the same difficulties, dealing with the same challenges, and struggling with the same humiliation. Find places where you can grow, learn, and share with others. Connection is an effective remedy for shame.
Breaking Free: Redefining Success on Your Terms
Self-worth and value are not even “real” things. They are just concepts, thought essentially.
It’s time to redefine success on our own terms. Instead of measuring ourselves against rigid productivity standards, let’s measure success by the progress we make, the lessons we learn, and the moments of joy we experience. Embracing this mindset shift allows us to release the shame and embrace our journey with open arms.
Shame No More
If the weight of shame becomes too heavy, don’t be afraid to enlist help, whether it’s from a therapist, a friend, or your spouse. Having people in your team who “get it” are looking out for you can work wonders. Begin by reaching to us, Rising Perspective Counseling. We are here ready to help you untangle the threads of shame and equip you with strategies to thrive in a world that often misunderstands our minds.
Also, don’t let your location hold you back! Many therapists conduct video or phone sessions, and online support groups can give you a sense of community wherever you go.
“You always get to choose your thoughts. You can choose worthiness no matter what happens.”
Your ADHD mind is a tapestry of brilliance and uniqueness, and the myth of productivity should never dim your light. Let’s celebrate our strengths, embrace our quirks, and extend boundless compassion. The path to self-love and acceptance starts with understanding that you are enough, just as you are.